Lost-Battle. Tricked. Flinched.
“Lost-Battle..”
In fact, I picked the battle knowing I can never win it.
It is easier to do something when you sure of the outcome.
Because if some battles are not lost, will engulf you within it.
...
“Tricked”
Everyone told me I don’t smile anymore.
Over the years, I realized it’s easier not to smile.
It takes a lot to smile—
to lie,
to hide,
to reciprocate when I don’t want to.
For the first time in a long while, I felt like myself—
when I wasn’t smiling at all.
At first, everyone confronted me.
They misunderstood.
Eventually, they accepted me as the one who doesn’t smile.
Just to return the gesture, I smiled back, thinking—
what’s the harm?
They noticed.
They called it out:
“See, you seem happy now!”
Once again, I was tricked.
And once again, it takes so much to smile—
to lie,
to hide,
to reciprocate when I don’t want to.
It was easier not to smile,
even when I wanted to.
...
“Flinched..”
Deep inside we were never sure.
Maybe this was meant to be ended.
Seems we forgot to plan the exit strategy for it.
Never thought it would go well so far.
We knew how bad we are in this.
Still, it didn’t shatter on its own.
None of us sure, how to deal with it.
It has now become a stare-down;
Where we are waiting for one of us to take a fall.
Our talks are becoming glorification of failures.
I could sense it is coming.
Finally. I Flinched.
Maybe it is just me, who thought that way.
But then, either way, we made it happened.
Maybe this was meant to be ended.
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