“I Will Change The World!” She says.

“I will change the world!” she said as if there is no other way she knows of. Lean figure with brightness in her eyes and firmness in voice, she was telling her story to fellow travelers.

I just boarded one Haryana roadways non-ac bus on a scorching summer day. Had there was a helicopter service I would have taken that without flinching my eyes. I was desperate to reach my Aunt’s place instantly. My heart was sinking with each minute, and my mind was not working at full. Seems to have no other options, but to board that bus was a way in which life was asking me to take a break from that panic attack.

The bus was already full when I boarded it. Beginning from the front, I reached the last bench while seeking any place to sit. Someone just made space for me, I adjusted myself on the edge of the seat, and sank my head in my hands balancing on my lap. With a jerk, the bus started its journey and with that, my mind started cursing me, “Why I took the risk of sending my ill mother away from home?”

A couple of hours back, I got the call by newlywed my brother’s wife from my Aunt’s place. She says “She has a meltdown. She is having a fight with her own sister. I don’t know what to do..”. I knew exactly what happened, I was scared for everyone’s safety at my Aunt’s place. But mostly I was worried about my mother. She is alone fighting there. I was desperate to be in her corner, to fight those demons of her mind.

It was 4 hours drive on that bus to my Aunt’s place. My heart was shaking with all kinds of thoughts. Half an hour into the journey, the bus was like a hot oven, with limited oxygen shared by tens of fellow travelers with me. But it didn’t bother me a bit, at least not today, and so to her. “You know, I am the first girl in my family to put feet outside my village..” she says.

I noticed I was sitting beside a group of students in their early 20s, and there she was in the middle of a group, the only girl, with those dreamy eyes. I realized, the only thing common among them was aspiration and this road. They were all speaking out of turn with excitement, like any other young people, full of energy, and similar struggle-of-life-story to share, do. “You know, in my village girls are not allowed to study.”, she said. Now, they all were listening to her, we all were listening to her. She spoke like she is telling the story of some other girl, a girl who is so brave, dreamy, and wants to do a lot in her life.

It was late afternoon. Seems most of the one traveling was returning from work they had in that big city. All looked tired, surrendered like they achieved something, and now returning to their families. I was too returning to my family but seems whatever I achieved so far in my life, made no sense today. I was having so many doubts about myself. But then, she didn’t.

As my phone was almost discharged, I asked my sister-in-law to keep sending updates through the phone messages about her. She told, she is a bit calm now, but alone in a room. No one going near her; it is better that way, everyone felt. I can feel, how broken she could be right now. Before leaving, I assured her I will be there soon, on her side. I was not sure, how long she could hold herself against those demons in her mind. My heart started sinking again.

They all looked tired, sweated, and even hungry. But their eyes were lying about their appearance. Those eyes were so bright, so positive, and full of dreams. It seems they found they are together in this exploration. She shared how she convinced her family to let her go and study in a nearby city. And to assure them, she said she happily travel 6 hours a day, which her eyes said like it is no big deal, to achieve her dreams. It looked like she enjoying all the struggles, challenges she has. The world has to give her way, seems the world has no other choice.

Her conviction and big dreams hidden in her small words, spell-bounded all of us. She takes a big sigh and with a glow in her eyes declares “I will change the world!”. At that moment, I realized my mother never said these words aloud, but yet, all my life I found her doing the same. With a lean figure, brightness in her eyes, and firmness in her action, she uses to declare “I will change the world!”.