Sipher

While sitting at the funeral of my friend's father, a question lingered on my mind. When people leave us forever, do they make us think more about them? And surprisingly, I couldn't put many people in that category. I found we have filled our life with so many things that now people surrounding us don't really leave a forever mark in our day-to-day lives. Except for my eldest maternal uncle, no one came across my mind. He was one who left a legacy behind him. His absence made me think about what he would have done had he been still there in present. And that's how I think one leaves a legacy behind. I am not sure we doing anything like that for people around us. Especially I don't find myself in that place. In fact, I find myself to be someone who could make the least vacuum to fill if leave at the moment from this world. I find people with jolly nature to be most memorable and missed when not around. You guessed it right, I am not one of those.

Among various awkward moments of life there is one where we find ourselves no where.  I am not talking about being aimless or going stray on path of life. It is about moments where no one else find us or actually try to find us. Its about times when we find ourselves standing on middle of footpath while surrounding people keep by-passing us and yet not see us. They make slight movement to pass across us, keeping us at comfortable distance. Some do make a glance, even have slight eye contact; yet that's of so formal-rush, it keeps them in protected zone where we can't seek their attention without declaring a need. Actually, its case with all, everyone keep themselves at distance from getting invited for any such ask-whats-going-wrong-with-you. There could be time when you be limping with a aching foot. Person beside you notice it; hold his work; asks you, "Are you OK?". Your first reaction is "ohh!!! Its fine. Will be OK". That person without giving anothe...

We all feel deeply low at one or other time of our lives. Some do more often than others. All of us have their way to deal with such situation. Some get sober, some mourns, some isolate themselves; while some lose themselves in crowd. We all have our ways. Those who don't have make others to make one for them. So, I can safely say most of us have Escape Route for our feel-low-situations. Most of these Escape Routes are very impractical or better word would be imaginative in nature. Generally no one else except you yourself know about it. In some cases even you yourself don't know; as it's subconsciously in back of your mind. When we mourn or starts to feel low, and there is no external force to keep you engage or keep you away from haunted by the lowness. Then this Escape Route make its way in your things. You start crossing the line subtly towards this route. Its like you fallen sleep while thinking about your struggle; and there in dreams you make consolation situation ...

Songs have been integral part of my existence. It takes significant chunk of my time. Being not so enthusiastic to have any kind of conversation, listening songs keep my mind sane and engaged. I usually stay within my environment and generally don't sneak outside that. Exploring is something which means self-assigned work to me, and I avoid it happily. It all started with tape-recorder which my brother bought in our 11th-12th standard. The radio introduced me with these difficult to understandable English songs. It’s not that on TV we don't use to come across these songs. But one particular feature of that cassette-cum-radio player which helped me captures the moments. It was recording songs played on radio in cassettes. Someone who didn’t had access to internet or in fact to computers such help was in itself big enough to value it. Well, at least for me it was exclusive thing to have. Moreover it was accident introduction to this feature of recording at will, which glued me to...

Love, friendship, commitment, affection all these words has definition with common words. Misplaced usage of these do make wrong impact. Many a time it gets blurred and difficult to find in which feeling or relation we are. Moments come when we don't want to accept what we have to; and sometimes the moments don't accept actually what we are or feel. With time, energy, situation feelings do change; more than feelings the sense of belonging changes. If we look deeply into our lives, we will find various kinds of feelings, relations and experience which come as part of life we live. We are now part of generation who knows that they have to spend a lot of time away from their families. The time which would or could have been guided by them. This brings a sense of mutual aspirations. Aspiration to grow in crowd, with crowd and in some way stay in this crowd. The start encourages indulgence in work, friends, and virtual world, which is common phenomenon of this system. Love starts...

Everyone has a purpose in their lives. Many times that purpose keeps on changing. One day you don't feel like doing particular stuff and on some other day, you want that thing more than anything you wish for. Similarly, it could happen that one day you are darling of your group and some other time joke. Some live their lives on that very moment not keeping in mind what's ahead or gone behind. I am among those who don't come in that category. For me, nothing lasts forever and I don't believe in temporary attachment. For me, if someone or something had given me some kind of happiness in my life, even it's for a moment then that lasts forever in my heart. One thing which I never been able to explain but needed explanation about my behavior is in many ways I find myself divided into extreme two. One part stays with the thing or person which made me happy, but that's my inner self, it cares for that person; while another part just doesn't respond to that in an ...

There exist relationships that lose boundaries; friends becoming brothers and sisters; brothers becoming more than friends, and like this, there exists one relation where one friend becomes more than a friend and yet not comes under the category of love. In today's time, such stories do exist. If we look deeply into our lives, we will find various kinds of vacuum in our personal life. This vacuum got created due to an isolated way of living. Living away from family. Living with friends yet not finding one with whom u can bear your soul. If such relation had been or was there in past then I will call them not good for society. But now such relations are created by the system, are a necessity, and cause more good than harm. Above and later in this page wherever I am mentioning society or people then I am referring to people like me who came out of their hometown, staying away from family, independent, and do fulfill their materialistic needs on their own. People living in the metro...

(continue from the last post.. Me and My Society - part 1 ) So, where were we.. we were talking about society and its bad-good stuff. Role and responsibility at this level are like diving in sea to check its depth. Before diving, some take a long breath and some don't even blink. But inside this sea, everyone experiences the same energy and colorful life which one cannot even imagine while standing at the seaside. Anyway, by all this, I don't want to say I have been there, at the sea bottom. But such experiences give us a hint of what it could be out there. In college, I initially had nightmares, I never knew one need to be shrewd to come up scratch-less through those ragging days. I was among those for whom it was the struggle of life. It was like "What the hell going on ?". It was somewhat like adversity on us. But this adversity compelled us to stay together and really know what we all are. This is some phenomenon which gave me some lessons. This could be o...

Society, what actually it means to a guy like me who lives with friends away from their homes? As per me, the scope and impact of society differ for people with the profession and the place where they live. At an early age, introduction to society and our participation in social activities is made through our family, school, and playgrounds. The exposure gets during that time influences the person's involvement in social activities. After graduation, I had left my home and since then been away. It's been around 7 years. Like me, there are millions of people who for studies and work stay away from family for many years and tend to form their independent social network which has nothing to do with their family's network. Many a time, the emerging trend is that individual social network is more prominent in their case and they have very less to do with their family's network. In my case, I use to be a very shy person who tends to remain quite dormant in social activit...

The last year has been the most defining year of my life so far. Seen so many ups n downs that it is not easy to say whether it was good or bad for me. One thing is sure right now I am in all sense be on the low side. One will think since it's been low on all sense then must be a bad year for me, but somehow i can't judge it just by the outcome. Before 2008, I was like driving a truck on rough terrain and now it's been like walking on a highway with no sight of a city or town. On this highway, I meet many people, made great friends. When we are suffering from lots of problems or even riding on too much success .. we tend to miss a lot of small happiness n joyful experiences. Since last November (2008) when got hit by trouble and continually fighting one or another trouble, I spent all my energy. Sometimes being an optimist person one tends to invest too much energy in all things and if one facing a problem for quite some time then this causes fatigue and emotional drain....

My last trip was to Dharamsala, a place of monks and subtle beauty. The journey to the place was in itself satisfying. It was me and my friend Dheeraj who decided to visit the place during the extended weekend (gur-parv) of November. So, it was this holy day, the day we celebrate Nanak's birthday when we traveled to reach this place. We took an overnight train from Delhi to reach Pathankot. We reached this very quiet and slow beauty around 7 in the morning. As we were moving we were not pre-determined about the route or schedule to follow, as we brought with us ample time of 4 days. Secondly, we want to cherish moments of the journey so decided won't hurry or try to optimize our tour. I think this decision made our tour more worthy and memorable. to be continued..

The Sheikh started with the problem uppermost in his mind. He said:  'Either seek worldly prosperity or seek God. Put not thy feet on two boats lest thou losest the entire capital'.  This question was in keeping with his declared conviction that it was not possible for a house-holder to find God. The Guru replied equally firmly, verified by the biographers, thus:  'Put thy feet as also thy capital on both boats (remain a householder but detached in the love of God). If one boat were to sink, the other would cross over(i.e. would be there for thy rescue). The love of God would save thee from worldly entanglements and the love of family, with all the responsibilities it entailed, would curb renunciation taking extreme forms. Thus imbalance in both extremes would be liquidated and harmony restored. Human personality remained incomplete unless both the mystic and the mundane aspects of life were advanced. (This view was further explained in the next line.) When a man possesse...

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