The Last Year ..

The last year has been the most defining year of my life so far. Seen so many ups n downs that it is not easy to say whether it was good or bad for me. One thing is sure right now I am in all sense be on the low side. One will think since it's been low on all sense then must be a bad year for me, but somehow i can't judge it just by the outcome.

Before 2008, I was like driving a truck on rough terrain and now it's been like walking on a highway with no sight of a city or town. On this highway, I meet many people, made great friends.

When we are suffering from lots of problems or even riding on too much success .. we tend to miss a lot of small happiness n joyful experiences. Since last November (2008) when got hit by trouble and continually fighting one or another trouble, I spent all my energy.

Sometimes being an optimist person one tends to invest too much energy in all things and if one facing a problem for quite some time then this causes fatigue and emotional drain.

Anyway, in the last six months, I changed my mode or you can say forced to change mode. I left what all I was controlling n commanding. I drifted along with time. It was a very strange experience because it was totally opposite to what I use to be. I used to be of controlled and commanding nature. This drifting gave me some unusual experiences. Experiences like accepting failure as part of life, leaving everyone alone.

Earlier if I knew someone is in trouble I use to come forward and help/support them on my own. But not now, this helped me aware of one particular perspective of nature "helping/support other". This nature not always taken in a good sense and does not produce the right outcome if done in more than desired time. But if someone is of that nature they cant be calculative enough to understand when to come forward and when not. This causes them to put their stuff behind/aside, which lead to loss of energy in their own life.

At this point, I don't know whether I will go more towards the downside or have touched the bottom of the situation, but now these things have stopped hitting me.


One thing I can share.. Calvin has an answer to any question. Try yourself :)

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